----Dr. J.K. Mangaraj----
I reached my Hometown Jatni on 1st September 2022, to meet my ailing mother. She was suffering from a deadly disease since3 years. But she had an amazingly fighting quality and a high will power& power of tolerance. She never expressed her pain that she had underwent during her last 1 year. The pain was terrible that we can perceive. I think everyone cannot understand from her expression and talks that she was suffering so badly. Only very few close blood relations canunderstand her sufferings during her ailing days. For her (my mother), all her ailing days and nights are same as she kept calling Liku and Babu. The last 03 years have seen few attendants in our Jatni home. The attendants have served my mother and father significantly during their last period. We must acknowledge their services. Most of us forget those, who served us during our need. I think those people are God sent and we in many occasions fail to recognise them and their services. We only identify their faults.
On 1st September evening when I went to see my mother who was sleeping by then. After one hour she woke up and saw me. I could see happiness in her expression. She was not in a position to talk. Little liquid diet being fed through the rice tube. I could sense that her condition deteriorated badly. For last 02 years I have been watching Bou’s (mother’s) condition going from bad to worse. It was a frequent question within me during my every visit to Jatni that if it was my last visit to my mother. I was wishing sincerely that if my mother passes away then she should breathe her last in my presence and it happened too as lord Jagannath granted my desire.
Mother passed away on 8th September 2022 at 7-30am. From 31st August 2022 evening onwards her voice was not clear. Whatever she was saying was difficult to understand, perhaps the voice was paralysed. In the evening, 5th of September 2022, I came, hold her hands and asked few things about herself and her health. She started talking to me nonstop for (5-10) minutes as if she was advising me something that I shouldfollow. Her Voice was very straight, authoritative but not clear. I could not understand her. I was quietly trying to understand the meaning of her talks but failed. She could understand that I am struggling to understand her advices. She looked disappointingly at me and I too felt helpless. She probably knew that she is approaching her Journey end in this world.
But I was trying decode seriously those lines that Bou told me in the evening of 5thSepember 2022. I am dead sure that she was telling to take care of myself, the house in Jatni and others in family as she would leave the world very soon. Exactly from that 5th September 2022, Bou’s activities became extremely slow. Her eating, reactions, intermittently talks have slowed down significantly. She continuously slept from 6th September night onwards for her long, never ending sleep. I was little apprehensive regarding the no reaction from Bou. But she was breathing long and struggling with eyes closed. On the 8th September early morning I was curious and suspicious regarding the no response from Bou. I called younger brother n his wife. They too looked worried to see Bou in this condition. The last 30 minutes (8th September2022, 7-30am to 8am) was probably the Moment of truth. The breathing became faster and longer and I was watching that standing silently near my mother. Bou lies silently on her bed. I can’t describe that whether it was a grief or a sense of spiritual feeling that the soul of mother is mingling with the Paramatma. After sometimes everything fell silent. We could understand silently that Moment of truth. Also I could understand that many persons in their departingmoment probably become incapable of expressing their last desires.Is it the rule of world?
Does every departing soul can’t talk voice properly or express his or her last desire properly? So I feel everyone should try to express his/her desire in advance in writtenform so that his/her desires may be taken care, possibly by someone. Even if it’s not taken care, hopefully it will be understood by few people. I hope that I will get few signals from any source regarding the Bou’s last advice to me. I am still trying to decode the advice of my mother.